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Maggie's Journal  It's actually really very accurate. Explains me better than I explain myself.
Current mood:  hungry.
So, last entry was in January. How time flies when you're doing something. Gone and moved across the country to Scottsdale, AZ. Been spending the past several months with hardly any friends to speak of, except those I left back east. Got my two roommates, but as I live with them, hanging out with them is hardly anything special. Meet people now and then, but nothing so far has really stuck. Worked at a mexican restaurant for a few months, quit that job cuz it sucked major hairy moose balls (and that's saying a lot- moose are tough to find this far south) and got hired at Krispy Kreme for two days before the company went bankrupt and closed all valley locations. Now I'm working at Starbucks, waiting for the day my benefits kick in so I can get a new eyeglass prescription, and a fresh inhaler, and get my wisdom teeth taken out cuz damn do my jaws hurt. I bought a frisbee. It's time to be pro-active. Get out of the house, away from the computer, get some exercise. Once Landon gets home I'll be dragging him to the park. You know, unlike most adults, I am not tied to any particular location. If I saved up a couple thousand dollars, I could move just about anywhere in the world. Been thinkin about that today. But I prolly should do some travelling first. Shouldn't just go from never having left the country to living somewhere else. Still, it bears some thought. Where would I go? Holy Name Generator: Pope Eremite Thaumaturge Kallixti Hillbilly Name: Billie Jean Winchester, aka Jenny Sith Name: Darth Vilid Ent Name: Bramblecrown Star Wars Name: Magda Tahar Ninja Name: Sanjuro Hirata-san Hobbit Name: Tigerlily Loamsdown Pokemon Name: Flarrino. You live in the veldts of Britain, and your diet consists mostly of macaroni and cheese, Cherry Garcia and blood. You can walk on maple syrup. You can breathe lava. You can spit 8-track tapes. You can throw bricks. You have a cell phone. You can breathe Mr. PiBB. You can puke Dr. Pepper. Band Name: Rough Onions Fairy Name: Rose Gardenia Alexandria Drag Queen Name: Charlamaine Monroe Hippie Name: Peace Juniper Zombie Name: Arrggghharr "Arrggrah" Mmnaaaah Aztec Name: Xuihyotl Yeah, I got bored. Current mood:  bored.
I went for a walk in the cold, and thought a bit. I spent 14 years of school learning to think, and it seems it only took two semesters of college for me to unlearn it. In high school and before, I was The Smart Kid. Or one of them, anyways. I was an honors student, and when my bad homework habits got rid of that title, I was still one of the intellectual, artsy types. I had philosophical discussions over coffee, debated the nature of the universe, the possibilities of time travel, and other such things. Not only could I hold my own against people like Cameron Bishop, Steve Maresca, and Elaine Smith, I was at times smarter than them, if I was in the right mood. I wrote poetry. I wrote essays for fun. I learned new songs with startling speed. I was SMART. I went to college, and stopped thinking for fun. I guess it might have been the stress; in high school, I didn't have to worry so much about thinking, or school, or money, or anything, so I had the time and energy to think for fun. At college, I had to worry so much that thinking became a chore, and it was a relief to just lay back, make fart jokes, get stoned and drunk, play video games, order ninja pizza, easy things. And also, everyone else was so busy thinking and worrying and arguing all the time. I'd have just added fuel to the fire, and I had another talent: diffusing the tension. Bringing up lighter things so that other people could take a step away from their problems for a moment. And somehow, I turned into some sort of a mascot. It's so easy to fall into a mold. In West Haven, my mold was that of a somewhat quirky intellectual. At college, it was that of a silly clown not cut out for deep thought. I think sometimes they pitied me. I know they all felt superior to me. And I've never been used to feeling inferior to anybody. Now, I'm back in West Haven, but with college experiences behind me. And I can't seem to reconcile the two molds. So to people here, I am stupider than I was. And I hate that. I miss thinking. I miss getting lost in thought about important but unimportant things, things that are huge in the grand scheme but don't really matter in my personal life. And I am alone a lot lately. I ought to put the time to good use. Went to give blood today at the blood drive down at the police station. I though I knew what weird meant, and then it went to a whole new level, seeing bags of my high school librarians' blood. They didn't manage to get any blood out of me, unfortunately. Got the finger stabbed, and actually had enough iron in my blood to donate. And I know I sure as hell wasn't dehydrated, I'd been chugging water and juice for three days. But I was tense. Probably because I had to piss. And because of that, the lady couldn't get the needle in my vein. Ah well, I'll just have to try again another time, and remember to piss BEFORE going to give blood. In other news, I am very bored. Was supposed to hang out with Graham yesterday but he decided he didn't feel like it. Playing World of Warcraft, I assume. Just adds to my bitterness about that game. And I'm only in Connecticut for two more months. Got my flight booked for March 28. I'll have to plan a big going-away party. Probably will screw it up, though, and end up just having a few friends over playing video games and eating potato chips. I hope not, though. I want to try and get mom and Tony out of the house, either that or have it somewhere else, partly because they won't like me having a ton of people over and staying up late and being generally noisy, but mostly because with them gone, drinking would happen, and drinking is fun. But in the meantime, I'm stuck at home by myself, with nobody online and nothing to do. I'm tired of playing Soul Caliber II by myself. It's fun with other people, but on my own it is a little boring after awhile. I have a bunch of other games I've been neglecting but I've been playing too much video games anyways. I want to go out and DO something. Buuuut I can't. Cuz I have hardly any friends. So I'm probably just going to end up reading, waiting for someone interesting to pop online, which will never happen, and eventually I'll get bored enough to fall asleep. I suppose there's still a chance Graham might call. Current mood: bored.
*dances* End of year feast tonight! In the middle of it now, actually. And nto doing so well, either. Josh is all quiet, Khali is... well, she's Khali. And without her brother there, she has no friends. I need to work on getting those two some friends. And Jocelyn is to be sorted in a week! *dances again* She'll be lots of fun. In other news, I got my flight to Arizona booked! I'll be leaving Connecticut on March 28! AND IT IS FUCKING COLD HERE>>>>>> In other other news, I'm building a new character on a new MUSH. New to me anyways- Alere Flammas. Names Caspian Mihar. He's an English wizard born in 1992 in Cornwall and currently 11 and I am having trouble writing a background because it's so modern. And I'll be joining another MUSH based on the Belgariad and Malloreon called RivaMUSH as soon as I can think of a character. I think I would do well with a Nadrak woman. And meanwhile I've got Tobias and Colleen sitting in my head waiting for me to app them on Windy City and EvoMOO. Ok, so maybe I shouldn't have gone back and deleted all of my old entries. But I felt the need to start fresh, without all of the baggage from high school, and most of all, without a written record of all the dumb shit I did and said. Granted, most of it wasn't dumb. Some of it, reading over it, was actually more mature and serious than I usually get nowadays. But mixed in was just a lot of stuff I wanted to forget. So: I deleted all my friends, I deleted all my entries. I'm making this journal like new. ...unfortunately, I don't really have much to say right now. It's always hard to write a first entry, because where do I start the recap? Today? But that gives no backstory. My whole life? Too much backstory. A week ago? I don't really do much. I had a soy latte today. |
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